remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
