omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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