Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
