Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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