Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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