He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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