you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
