It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
