I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize