No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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