look no pants
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
