I puked a lego.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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