I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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