He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
