Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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