I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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