respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
