I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
