She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
