And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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