May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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