I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
