Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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