how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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