I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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