Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
