All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize