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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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