TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
