ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Boobs are out for the taking
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
