HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
