i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
