no, he came in my armpit
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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