I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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