I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
