no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
