Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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