She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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