so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
40s are totally the cure
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
