She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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