A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
