Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize