called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
