I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
