if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
