It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
