I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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