I'm really into asian looking animals
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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