Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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