I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
