Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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