come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
