Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
