i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
