Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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