Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
