Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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