He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
