Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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