What did I eat last night that was bloody?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
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his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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