Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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