careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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