Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
